Starless
by Kou1
Summary: *UPDATED*LAST CHAPTER NOW>>>The sequel to Kaleidoscope! Realising that we're not as funny as we thought, we came up with this: A yohXanna romance. The grand finale to 17 chapters of utter bull.
1. Default Chapter

Starless  
by Icy and J  
  
Disclaimer:  
We, the authors of this audacious ficcy here, do hereby solomnly swear that we do not own any itty bitty of Shaman King. Neither do we take ownership for any human, animal, reptile injured during the course of this outrageous fic. Well, now with all the formalities over with, here we go...  
This one comes as more of a romance fic than humour in light of recent events that have transpired in the real world concerning the two authors. Best not to say what.  
This one goes out to the All-American Boys' Chorus' "Chopstick Boy". I hope this pair won't break... And BRAVO to all of you guys who came down to Sunny Singapore to perform in your Asia Tour! -IceFire (representing Sing Melody Children's choir-Singapore)  
  
Chapter 1: Arrivals  
  
It was a rather peaceful morning with the sun just peeking through the blinds, creeping across the wooden planks of the floor. The birds enamoured the glorious dawn with chirping that just seemed like music if you listened closely enough... If you could here anything at all. Note that we used PAST TENSE.  
"YOH!!!!!!!!"  
The shaman jerked awake, stumbling up the stairs in a half-dazed manner, nearly tripping over a small lump of-  
(Don't you dare say it's a hill...-J)  
-3 year old Yomaru. Ever since a few months ago, there was simply not enough space on the futon upstairs and the befuddled Asakura had to move into the lving room.  
"Yes?" Yoh asked while sliding open the door, rather groggily considering it was only 2 in the morning. Anna gave him a smile. It was getting a habit now, knowing that it was all it took for him to do anything for her. Either way, he wouldn't have her waddling all over the place, being the very pregnant itako she was. About 8 months in fact. It was nearly a year since the two finally got married in the huge Asakura mansion gardens under the twilight of the stars...  
"Can you get me a tub of vanilla ice-cream without nuts, a bowl of sweet potatos, some marsh-mellows, some peaches with whipped cream and some kitty kibbles?" Anna listed, counting off her fingers. Yoh gave her a weak grin before turning to his son who was tugging at the leg of his shorts.  
"Otousan..." Yomaru whined. "I want some kitty kibbles too."  
Yoh smiled, ruffling his son's dark hair before lifting him up onto his shoulders. With all the kitty kibbles the two were eating, he'd might as well move in with a pack of cats... "Let's pay a visit to your uncle shall we?"  
  
Hao took a long draw from his homemade cigar made mostly from lumps of sugar, starch and most importantly kitty kibbles. It was the 'kibbles cigar' all wrapped tightly in a roll of toilet paper.  
The 21 year old was busy puffing a long earthworm of a smoke trail when the door bell rang. Plodding over to the door, he swung it open, flinging his hair over his shoulder like something out of a shampoo ad.  
"Hao, I need to borrow some- WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU WEARING?!" Yoh yelled out, shocking the sleep from him. Hao glared at him, looking down at his attire of pink bunny slippers, purple furry bath robe and long green bell bottoms peeking out from the ends of his robe. Hao crossed his arms and glared at his brother.  
"Are you my fashion designer or something? I've already got Ren to do that for me." Hao retorted, blowing some smoke in Yoh's face, turning it a peculiar shade of purple. "What do you want? I'm a very busy man you know, brother."  
Yoh sighed, setting his sleeping son down at his feet. "I need some kibbles."  
Hao raised an eyebrow. "Anna hungry again? By the amount she's eating, she might grow an extra head or something!"  
Yoh shuddered at the thought of a doubly loud and ferocious two-headed Anna. "That doesn't sound very nice at all... But I really need those kibbles."  
Hao patted his brother on the shoulder and gave him a generous human sized sack of kitty nibbles. "Here is a portion of my pity for you..." he cackled before slamming the door in Yoh's face.  
"Let's go, Yo-chan..." Yoh said softly, hoisting the bag of kibbles on one shoulder and Yomaru on the other. If you didn't know any better, you would think he was a body snatcher or a grave-robber or something out of a frankenstien movie.  
  
"Anna?" Yoh called out, using a sore toe to nudge open the door of their room, arms overloaded with food and a snoozing Yomaru whose mouth was crammed with kibbles so he drooled slightly.  
Rather sadly, the itako was fast asleep, her craving satiated by one of the few hundred bars of chocolate filling the fridge in the kitchen. Smiling to himself, he set his son down next to Anna, dumping all the newly collected food in a corner within easy reach.  
Anna had grown much more radiant within the past couple of years, her icy demeanour aside at last. Perhaps childcare had made her grow out of her paranoid state. Or perhaps Yoh's promise was finally being fulfilled...  
11 years ago...  
"Don't worry..." Yoh assured. "I'll find a way to help you. Just wait till I become Shaman King. I'll wait for you."  
*end of flashback*  
(wow... that was short...-Icy)  
(Hey! I'm still a slow reader okay?!-J)  
(by the way, Yoh had promised Anna to 'cure' her of her curse that made oni appear everywhere she went-Icy)  
(I think they know that...-J)  
(Whatever...-Icy)  
Well, anyways, she was calmer and more patient... I hope. Plus she had grown into a ravishing beauty (not that she wasn't before-J) even though she was swollen to the size of a circus tent. Yoh let out a sigh, turning to leave the room and get some shut-eye before he had to get up to prepare breakfast.  
"Yoh?"  
The shaman turned to his groggy wife who was struggling to sit up but in the end gave up and flopped back down onto the futon. He went to her side, kneeling beside her and giving her a grin that normally meant he had done something wrong and was trying to hide it. Realising this, he quickly rearranged his face into a mafia like manical smirk before deciding not to smile at all. So he just lay there next to her, running his fingers through her silky hair...  
"Ew..." Yoh frowned as his hand slipped off her hair and went straight into Yomaru's kibblish droolish mouth. Anna's lips curled into a feline looking smile when...  
"Yoh..." Anna muttered rather seriously, looking her surprised husband in the eye. "Let's go."  
Yoh blinked. "Huh? Go where? I just got back here."  
Anna rolled her eyes. It was getting difficult to stay conscious now...  
"GET ME TO THE HOSPITAL NOW, YOU IDIOT!!!!!!!" Anna roared, knocking Yoh several feet away with a hard slap. Then, she promptly fainted.  
Yoh, being Yoh, went into full panic mode.  
"HOLY -censored-!!!!" he yelled, frantically racing to get the prepared bag of clothes and other stuff. In a mad rush, he summoned out Amidamaru and the two of them loaded all sorts of rubbish into the back of his- bicycle.  
(What?! Isn't that a bit too small... -Icy)  
(Not at all. If I can cram you on the back of my bike, he can cram his whole house on his! A newly learned method of saving space! SPANDEX SPACE!!!!!!-J)  
Yes, Yoh, for some reason was dressed in a bright yellow spandex just like wolverine from the x-men, only less macho. So he looked like a terribly deformed clone of pikachu. Explanation of spandex space: Ever wondered how anime characters can seem to cram everything and anything into their seemingly tiny pockets? Well, it's all due to the magic of SPANDEX SPACE!!!!!! Lovely isn't it?  
Well, as Yoh carried the collapsed Anna out of the house, Amidamaru, who was rather wary of such dangerous situations, wisely chose to stay at home and look after the snoring, drooling... Yomaru.  
With his wife on his lap and half the house's belongings piled on the back of his mountain bike, Yoh began the extremely tiring journey to the hospital 2 kilometres away...  
  
The moment Yoh barged in through the doors, he was greeted by the sight of the entire shaman king gang. Horohoro and Ren, who was clinging to the ice shaman's leg for dear life; Maiden, who was randomly slapping Marcus and Lyserg for no apparent reason other than to keep her hands warm; Hao, popping kitty kibbles from the enormous sack full next to him; Jun, who had new coloured lenses on... one pink and one neon orange; Pyron, who was embroiding a mickey mouse on his leg; Ryu, who was trying to get his 50 cents back from a vending machine by kicking it till it had a hole in its side; Tamao, who was begging Ponchi and Conchi to put on some clothing for decency's sake; Kino, who was sharpening her stick on Yohmei's head; and lastly, Manta, who until that day had not gotten all the soot out of his system from his last bout up the chimney.  
All eyes suddenly turned to the exhuasted Yoh. And promptly exploded into a huge roar of questions.  
"Is she okay?"  
"Yoh-kun! You've got some kitty kibble on your face!"  
"Is it a boy or a girl? Are you a boy or a girl, for that matter?!"  
"How did you get here?"  
"Your grandmother said you'd be coming in but we didn't expect it to be so soon!!!!"  
"Do you have extra underwear in that bag?"  
"QUUUUUUIIIIIIIIEEEEEEETTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yoh hollered, silencing everyone into a stupor. Once he had gained all their attention, he took a deep breath, making his already pale face paler.  
"She's going into labour."  
~TBC~  
  
Well, liked it? Hated it? Couldn't care less? R&R and tell us what we can do and change for this ficcy!!! -Icy and J (who are still trying to get the excess pee out of their sodden clothes) 


	2. waiting... and waiting...

Starless  
bye Icy and J  
  
Author's note: Let's face it. Our humour is running dry. Our romance factor is kicking in to compensate. What can we say? It's not as funny but it's a sure helluva YohAnna! Oh my... We're becoming lame...  
  
A small blob of something plopped onto the path right between the two stone figurines placed outside the hospital, dangerously positioned in the middled of the walkway. A dove above, in clumsy flight, swooped through the hospital grounds, flapping with its wings riddled with water. Doves were lucky. Shit was not. So the dove and the shit theoratically cancelled each other out. Everything was fine...  
Or so he thought.  
Strangely, as the authors of this fic are mad, there was a humongous durain tree sprouting from the middle of the lobby floor, extending it's branches to the heavens above... (note: a durian is a large, green, very spikey, hard, fruit popular in Asia. Imagine a spikey green bowling ball...) During his long tenure in the lobby, he bore many spiked fruits, of which one was now ripe for picking and was about to...  
THWAAAAAACK!!!!!!!  
... Too late.  
The incredibly large durian landed soundly on Yoh's head. A halo of screaming chickens descended upon his head.   
"Maybe you should take a break man..." Horohoro suggested, watching Yoh as the shaman get back up and continue pacing non-stop in the hospital lobby. He had gone into the operating room with Anna for about 10 seconds before he fainted and had to be carried out by a rather large nurse.  
"Yeah," Ryu supplied. "Why don't you make yourself busy? Like... Get some present or something for your wife?"  
Yoh shot him a glare before continuing to pace in a tiny circle, slowing grinding a hole in the floor. Yohmei glanced up at him grandson, wincing as a splinter from Kino's walking stick lodged itself in his head.  
"Why don't you write her a poem?" Yohmei suggested, scratching his head, earning himself a nice solid plonk on the head. "Horohoro can help you..."  
"Yeah!" Horohoro squealed enthusiatically. "I got the first few lines already!"  
After a bit of scribbling and rumaging about his brain, he presented the to-be-dad a soggy, used napkin with several messy words on them. The shaman took a long glance at the paper... more like a long stare... And began reading it out loud...  
"You're the wind in my hair, the pitch in my ears, the taste on my lips, the... HAIR UP MY ARMS?!!!?!!!!?!?!!!!!!!" Yoh proceeded to beating the life out of the ice shaman. The rest of the poem was too horrible to put on paper, much less a website.  
"Yoh! Yoh-kun!"  
A squeaky voice that sounded like someone dragging their dog on a leash piercd through the air like an annoying arrow and the sound reverbrated in Yoh head for several seconds like a church bell before actually registering in his mind.  
"Huh?" he huhed slurrily, turning his gaze to the excited looking Manta who was running as fast as his tiny legs could carry him... Which was not very fast at all. The small boy screeched to a halt, earning a grimace form everybody.  
"What do you want?!" Lyserg demanded hotly, randomly kicking Hao. Hao returned the favour with a fist in the X-Law's face.  
"Yeah, midget." Hao agreed, wiping his fist on the unconscious Lyserg's sleeve. "What's up? The screamer of an itako done yet? Personally, I couldn't hear a thing from here..."  
Manta gave the shaman a grin. "That's because she was complaining so much, they knocked her out with a sledge hammer."  
"Oh..." everyone nodded, going back to their businesses.  
"A sledge hammer?!" Yoh yelled. "This is a hospital for crying out loud! What about anaesthetics?!"  
Manta snorted. Being short and snorting leaves you feeling and looking like a pig. Just thought you'd want to know. "Do you think you could pay for it? It's really expensive stuff ya know..."  
Yoh blinked then gave him pockets a quick rummage. "Do they accept M&Ns? I've got the nice red ones..."  
Hao rolled his eyes. "I can't believe a genius like me can have an idiot brother like him." he remarked, his neko ears twitching slightly. They had a remarkable ability to retract back into the owners head! Haha... We don't know what that was for...  
"Well, there must be something about your 'stupid brother' that's more than the man YOU are." Maiden casually retorted. "I mean, that blonde would just go with any Marcus, Hororhoro or Ryu, now would she?"  
The mentioned three turned and gave her a glare that would make a plant shrivel up and die. But, since she wasn't a plant, she simply stayed normal... (I know... We're lame...)  
  
-6 months ago-  
Horo Horo banged his fists against the door, nearly ripping it out of its frame. A rather groggy Yoh opened the door, apparently just out of the shower, his sopping wet bangs dripping with water and a clean white towel clinging to his waist.  
"Hmm?"  
"Oh... Urm... Hi, Yoh... Did I catch you at a bad time?" Horo horo cautiously asked, trying not to laugh. Yoh looked like he was thrown into the sea butt naked.  
Yoh shook his head, flinging water all over the other shaman in the process. He then proceeded to run a hand through his hair making it more or less neat.  
"I... See..." Horohoro said slowly, wiping the water from his face. "Well, we can't find your wife. She's not at the Asakura shrine like she normally is and we can't seem to find her at any of the places she's normally at... Well, Tamao said to tell you that."  
"Is that all?"  
"Urm... Yep." Horohoro spluttered out, not at all used to Yoh being so cold and emotionless. "You're not going to look for her?"  
"No."  
"Oh... Okay..." And the ice shaman quickly sprinted off.  
Yoh slid the door close behind him, making his way back to the bath room where he pulled on a shirt and a pair of slacks. (Well, we can't have him walk around butt naked the whole day! There are children reading this fic too!)  
"Who was it?" came a sleepy voice from the futon, followed by the loud bump of someone falling down after trying to get up.  
"Nothing, Anna. Just go back to sleep." Yoh assured as he stepped into the room, helping his wife back onto her feet. "Did you just fall down after trying to stand up?"  
"Shut up." she replied, retieing the sash around her robe again. "Unless you're really fond of cleaning toilets."  
Earning wisdom from experience, Yoh wisely chose to keep his mouth shut until Anna was fully dressed and ready for breakfast of bread, water and a pile of bacon which he had sloppily prepared.  
"Bacon again?" Anna groaned, seating herself at the table. "Is that all we have in the fridge?!"  
Yoh shrugged. "No, but it's the easiest to cook. Just stick it in the sun for a few hours."  
Anna almost gagged but kept the gagging to a minimal so as to not hurt his feelings. Aw... Since when did she give a hoot anyways...  
"How are you feeling?" Yoh asked, concern furrowing his brow. "Anything wrong? Feeling sick or anything? How is the baby?"  
Anna rolled her eyes. This was practically what she got everyday since they came back from the doctor's office. 'The baby will puke to death if you don't stop feeding us mouldy bacon...' she thought, forcing a straight face as she replied out loud to Yoh, "We're fine..."  
Yoh gave her a great big grin in return. "Well, I hope the both of you are. Cause we're going to see our little guy today!"  
What Yoh was saying was in no means dirty (I know who you are! All those thinking dirty thoughts!!!!!!), but he was refering to the baby echo scan thingy that you normally see on tv. Yeah.  
~TBC~  
  
Author's short note: The end. Just joking. Our note is not that short... This is considered a LONG chapter. Next one will be funnier... But considering our current state of luck, the possibility of that happening might be 1 to 700923. Yeah. So pls R&R. If we hit a good 10 reviews (we're not askin much), we'll post the next chapter! Yeah. 


	3. 4 shaman and a baby

Starless  
by Icy and J  
  
Author's pledge:  
We solomnly swear that we're up to no good (harry potter) and that this one small step is for us and one giant sequel for mankind (Neil Armstrong) and that we'd say this once to the American people, we did not have sexual relations to that woman (Bill Clinton).  
Now... Which woman was that?-J  
o.O' *Bonks J on the head*-Icy  
Hey! What was that for?!-J  
Nothing... On with the fic!-Icy  
And thank you for your reviews! Assuming you all DID review... RIGHT?!-J  
Shut up.-Icy  
  
Chapter3: 4 Shamen and a baby  
  
"So we'll be back by dinner time ok," Yoh reminded the chosen few unlucky enough to be assigned the duty of watching the house and its tiny baby boy for its owners. These unfortunate few were, Horohoro, Ren, Tamao, and Jun. Considering this... Nevermind. It can't be good either ways.  
Anna gave her husband a skeptical look. "Do you think there'll be a house to return to? I highly doubt it."  
Ren shot her a glare. "Of course you can count on us. We're not a bunch of immature babies... Right, Horo-chan??" he said, batting his eyes non-stop a the ice shaman.  
With a sigh, the two left for the hospital, this time in a large limo provided by none other than Manta. As the vehicle pulled away in a cloud of pink exhaust, the shamen heaved a sigh of relief.  
"Now, we have to get started on this list of rules here..." Jun started, unravelling a 4 metre long list of dos and don't... Well, mostly don'ts, considering it was written by Anna.  
As the four entered the dining room with a Yomaru drool sodden carpet they couldn't help but feel a sense of forboding... Like something bad was about to happen...  
(Ooo... A cliff-hanger...-J)  
(...... Immature baby... -Icy)  
  
-Meanwhille, in a hospital far away...-  
"Oh my... Look at that! And that! And that! Oh, and that! Aww... That is so cute..."  
Anna and Yoh stared at the nurse who was rather busy yakking away while pointing at various moving blurs on the screen. After being in the room for about half an hour, the two still hadn't made head or tail of the blurry image that was pulsating on the screen. That silly sausage of a nurse with a uniform several sizes too small and a fat, black mole splotched on the tip of her nose wasn't helping much either. By the way, that nurse also happened to have an amazing amount of chest hair...  
(yuck.-Icy)  
(Hey, it's not my fault if she's a hairy woman...-J)  
(What did you type that for?! They didn't have to know that! Let hairy matters lie.-Icy)  
Anna swallowed audiobly. "That is inside here?" she asked, patting the side of the slight bump on her belly.  
The nurse chuckled in her annoyingly sing-song voice. "Why of course, my dear! And it is growing quite fast too! Why, if I didn't know you were only 2 months along the line, I would have guessed you were already in your 5th month! Ohohohoh!"  
Yoh managed a weak smile, turning his attention to the moving mass. He gazed at the small moving figure. It looked so small... It was, a part of him, to say the least. Most of all, it was part of the both of them. And it was his. And hers of course.  
"Look at the head!" he said excitedly, pointing at a rounded blob on the screen that was wiggling. His eyes widened and watered in a rather anime like style. "Isn't that cute... It's nodding at us! Look at that!"  
Anna and the nurse blinked. "Yoh, that's the baby's butt." she stated to her husband.  
"Then what's it doing wiggling around like that?!" he retorted, jabbing the screen with a finger. "Trying to raise its own furyoku or something?!"  
"Well, at least we know there's someone in the house that actually bothers training!" Anna hollered back, jabbing Yoh in the arm equally hard.  
Yoh gave her a glare. "What's that supposed to mean?! I train too you know!"  
"Yeah. Like once every 4 months! You train like a cow eating grass!!!"  
"Oh yeah?! Yohmei said that eating grass was supposed to raise your strength!"   
"The only thing you're raising is your indigestion level!"  
"Stop, stop the two of you!" the nurse interjected, waving her chubby hands about the air like a cow on drugs or something, her mole wiggling so much it sprouted a strand of hair. "This is supposed to be a time of discovery for the both of you..."  
"Discovery? Well, discover this ya old fart!" Yoh snapped, giving her a good shove out of the room, slamming the door behind her.  
There was a long moment of silence before...  
"BWAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!!!" the two of them burst out laughing for no paticular reason. As the snorting, laughing and overall stupidity subsided, silece cast himself once again upon the room.  
"What has time done to us, Yoh..." Anna sighed, reclining against the bed, fingers playing with the button controlling the tilt of the bed, making her go up... go down... and up... and down... and... "I didn't think we'd even make it this far... Especially when I first saw you."  
Yoh looked up at his wife for a moment before reassuringly placing a hand on hers which was settled on the slight swell in her middle. "I never did say I was going to leave you, now did I?"  
(Aw... That is so touching...-J)  
(Stop it, you're slobbering all over me!-Icy)  
Anna gave him a smile, unknowingly prompting Yoh to do something he never would dare to try under any other circumstances. He lowered his ear to her stomach, listening intently to the squirming life inside....  
POW!  
Yoh was thrown across the room with a force that resembled Anna's slap. "Ouch... Like mother like child... Its kick packs a punch..."  
  
-Back in the Asakura household-  
"Now then... Ahh!!!" Horohoro said, offering a spoonful of porridge to the stubborn Yomaru who promptly spat a glob of something in the shaman's face. Before Horohoro could raise his voice and scream in frustration, Yomaru gave him a puppy dog look complete with the big eyes and overly cute chubby drooly face.  
"Yep... This is definately an Asakura, all right..." he remarked, wiping the spittle with the back of his hand. With a chuckle, he lifted Yomaru clear off his baby seat and cradled him in his arms.  
"Aw... Isn't that sweet..." Jun sighed, slowly clearing up the remainder of lunch from the dining table, randomly tossing food onto Ren who was fuming in the corner for some reason. "You look like you were born to be a dad... A natural, you know."  
Horohoro blushed at the comment, taking a stolen glance towards Tamao who was busying herself with the dishes. Both Ren and Jun caught the glance and had very different reactions.  
"I mean, like, you and Tamao are like made for each other... I can't see why the two of you didn't hook up earlier. Then you could have one of your own..." Jun grinned, relishing the look on Ren's face. Her brother promptly gave her a flying kick that knocked several teeth out of her mouth. Pyron popped out of nowhere and kicked Ren back before disappearing once again into nowhere.  
(What was that for?!-Icy)  
(Well, I can't sit back and let that gay boy terrorise girls!-J)  
(Fine...-Icy)  
... Due to disagreements, the authors decided to...  
*End of flashback*  
  
Coming back to the present (this is not really the present... If Yoh was 21, then we would be 20, cos he's about a year older. But we're only 16 so he's only 17 now.), we see Yoh still pacing the same spot. Before he could have further worn out the soles of his shoes, a rather fat and familiar hairy nurse strolled out with a wide beam across her face and a hairy mole perched on her nose like a flattened bug.  
"Asakura-san, you have a beautiful baby-"  
  
~TBC~  
  
I know I know... We're evil... Review and you'll find out whether its a baby boy or girl. No wait. VOTE!! Please vote whether it should be a boy or a girl!!!! Yeah! And review. We won't post till we see the big 15 on the reviews page!!!!!!!! BWAHAHAHA!!!!!!  
No... I mean it. Review. NOW! Yeah! I'm talking to you! The one with that silly face reading this. You know who you are. Review. and we. mean. it. 


	4. The Asakura

Starless  
by Icy and J  
  
We've been seeking help and find out that we don't really care what people think. Therefore, regardless of whether you guys review or not, we're going to write. But post only when there are reviews. So there.  
We've just obtained a cd that hold in it the very karma sutra of our fanfiction author-liness. The Shaman King New Year Special anime edition. We've never, NEVER watched a single episode of the anime, living entirely off the manga alone. So, having the opportunity of a lifetime, we jumped to the chance and watched the episode... 20 times... Until the only thing running in our heads was...  
Funga fufu... funga fufu... funga fufu...  
We have no idea what it is but the episode has taught us a great deal and we're about to put this to very VERY good use...  
Heheh...  
  
Chapter 4: The Asakura  
  
"Stay calm..." Yohmei suggested. "Breathe deep... In... Out... In... Out..."  
Yoh sweatdropped. It sounded like something out of the breathing classes he attended with Anna. The entire shaman gang were running along the coridoor towards the maternity ward. Before the fat, hairy, mole-ish nurse could finish her sentence, Yoh had shoved her aside and sprinted for the wards.  
"Do you want another poem?" Horohoro asked, shoving another piece of snotty used, tissue at Yoh. "This one is the master piece of my life!"  
Kino snorted. "The only time when that boy gets something sensible on paper is when I can see where I'm going..."  
At this, the Asakura elder promptly banged head first into a wall. (For those who do not know, Kino is blind. I think. It said so in book 19.)  
Screeching into the wards section, the only thought running through Yoh's mind was...  
"Manta! Get off my leg!" Yoh yelled, shaking the midget violently off his leg. Apparently, knowing that he couldn't run for nuts, the little brainiac had hitched a ride... On Yoh's leg. "You're slowing me down!"  
"But... But... I can't run!!!!!!!" Manta squealed out before being thrown backwards and onto Ren's head like a fur cap.  
"221... 222... 223... 224! We're here!" Yoh called out, swerving into the room and throwing back the curtain drawn around the bed...  
"Hello."  
"Ann- AAAAARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!"  
Yoh screamed at the sight before him. It was... It was... Horrible! It was terrible! It was horrendous! It was...  
"Faust here was my doctor." Anna explained, gesturing to the tall blondish guy with... A MOSIAC OVER HIS EYES?!?!!!  
Yep. The good doctor had a censorship blurriness over his eyes for some reason. Just imagine Faust with his eyes censored out. Yep.  
"Your oversoul called me." Faust said, pointing to Amidamaru who was watching Yomaru play with an orange. For some strange reason, Yomaru was rolling the orange with the palm of his hand on the table, all the while saying...  
"Funga fufu... Funga fufu..."  
"Hey! That's MY line!" Yoh complained and was about to snatch his lines back when his wife called him.  
"Yoh... Aren't you forgetting something?"  
With a sheepish smile, Yoh turned and moved towards the bed, gazing at his wife. She looked tired. But happy. Perhaps because she wasn't bloated like she was carrying a whale anymore. Yoh sat himself on the edge of the bed, using his hand to brush the stray strands of hair from her eyes.  
"Yoh..." Anna started.  
"Hmm?"  
"You're supposed to be looking at the baby. Not me. Baka."  
Yoh gave her another sheepish grin before turning his sights on the bundle in her arms. It seemed like Anna had given birth to a... bundle of blankets.  
"Erm... Where is it?" he asked, prodding the bundle experimentally. Anna rolled her eyes and gently moved a piece of cloth away, exposing the tiniest head of a baby.  
Yoh felt a surge in his heart as he reached out and stroked the baby's cheek with his finger. It seemed so small and fragile as it reached out a tiny hand and grasped his finger. For that few seconds, Yoh felt something he hadn't felt before. He felt like needing to give everything for this little bundle, just to keep it safe. He felt like he wanted to do everything in his power to make sure the baby and the person who was holding it were protected. Forever.  
"Ahem, Yoh-san."  
Okay, so all mushiness has to end sometime.  
Yoh looked up at Faust, a stupid grin plastered on his face. He looked almost as stupid as his son. Only he didn't drool.  
"You have a bouncing baby..." he trailed off.  
"Baby what?" Yoh prompted.  
"Yeah. Baby what?" Amidamaru added, tossing Yomaru another orange that bounced off the kid's head.  
"So, what is it?" Yohmei asked, strolling into the room, having extracted his wife from the wall. He was closely followed by the rest of the gang who were, as usual, talking non-stop.  
"Boy? You must name it Wen. It rhymes with my name."  
"No, name it Dorodoro."  
"How about if it was a girl? Yoko wouldn't be too bad..."  
"Are you sure it's yours this time?"  
"Why don't you name it Ryu, Lord of the Flies."  
"Lord of the flies? By the way, Ryu, your fly's undone."  
"QUIET!!!!!!!" Anna hollered out. She seemed to have recovered from hermore silent bout. "Only Yoh and I will get to name them."  
Yoh blinked. "Them?"  
"Yes, them."  
Everyone turned to the owner of the voice who walked out from behind the curtain. He was none other than...  
"YOU operated on MY wife?!" Yoh screamed, jabbing a finger at the rather amused Asakura Hao carrying another bundle. He blinked, before proceeding to place the bundle in Yoh's arms, several kitty kibbles falling out of his sleeves in the process of doing so.  
"Congratulations, bro." the powerul shaman announced. "You are the proud father of twins."  
  
~TBC~  
I hate ending like that... But we need reviews... We survive on them... Like vampires or something. Yeah. So R&R or you'll get nothing out of us! You hear me? Nothing!!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Chapter Thank yous:  
We'd like to thank only two people in this chapter. One would be...  
Jenn, the reviewer who stuck with us since the prequel of this fic, Kaleidoscope and gave us the idea of a sequel. WE SALUTE YOU!  
Geraldine, for lending me the cd! I thrive on Shaman King anime!!!!!! Funga fufu funga fufu funga fufu... WE SALUTE YOU! 


	5. You must be joking...

Starless  
by Icy and J  
  
Ok... Here's a balant advertisement. Due to our obvious deterioration in humour, we're looking for anyone willing to be our co-author! Yep. 3 authors on one fic. Two brains are better than one. Three brains is utter rubbish. Therefore we are advertising for the third brain. Please send in your 'resume' via review. Yep. Review if you wanna join in. Just tell us why you want to. That's all.  
We've noted and acknowledged your kind reviews... Even though there are only TWO... A pox on you all who don't review! So there!  
  
  
Chapter 5: You must be joking...  
  
Yoh looked like an artic landscape... All white and stuff. He was about to collaspe on the floor in utter shock of his sudden added responsibility. His orange rolling son was already more than a handful. Twins would require the mutation of an extra arm or two...  
"This is your baby girl," Hao said, hacking all of a sudden so a kitty kibble unexplainably shot out of his nose and slopped itself on Ren's forehead. He handed the tiny bundle over to the shell-shocked brother of his.  
"And this is our son." Anna explained, her finger stroking the soft blonde hair of her new baby boy. "What shall we name them?"  
Yoh pondered on this for a moment. "How about B1 and B2? Like that bananas in pajamas show..."  
Anna shot him a look that made his insides melt. Literally. "Maybe we can call him Yohkai. But we're still left with one more to name..." she said, gesturing to her auburn haired daughter.  
"And we can call her..."  
"Borodoro!" Horohoro called out, jumping up and down on Ryu's foot excitedly.  
"Wen!" Ren shot back, removing both Manta and the kitty kibble from his tortured head and dropping them both soundly on the floor.  
"Aw man... shut up... This is serious." Yoh said... Actually. More like whined. "I was thinking... We could name her after Anna... Since both Yomaru and Yohkai are in my name..."  
"NO!" Kino interjected forcefully. "The Asakura family is a line of many 'yoh's in our names. Those with direct blood relation must be so named as we have been once cursed by the PARA-PARA GOD!!!!!!!!!"   
Everyone stared at the Asakura elder. "What?" Tamao asked again, scratching her head. It was hard to think with such a small brain.  
(Hey! What was that for?!-Icy)  
(*shrugs* I guess I'm not such a big Tamao fan...-J)  
(Isn't that a biased remark...-Icy)  
"Well..." Kino continued. "Me and Yohmei have come up with a *cough* *cough* name for the girl... It's erm... Yohko."  
Everyone blinked.  
"It's erm..." Manta said. "A nice name..."  
"Of course it's a nice name for such a cuuuuttttttteeeeeeeeee baby!!!!!!!!!!" Ryu squealed at the baby, cooing at it until...  
"WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" Yohko began wailing like a broken siren, causing her father to come into a full panic mode. At this moment, a rather familiar, fat, mole-ish nurse entered the room and whisked the two babies away with one scoop. Anna looked like she was about to start wailing too...  
"Doctor, you're wanted in section 2-A for heart surgery." the nurse explained, stuffing a hanky in Yohko's mouth to stop her from wailing anymore. "And please stitch up the wound this time... The last patient is still waiting for his wound to be closed."  
Faust nodded, the mosiac bouncing happily up and down his nose bridge. Smiling, he exited the room with the fat nurse, leaving them with one last sentence.  
"I think we should give them SOME privacy... And can Tamao come with me? We have something to discuss."  
Everyone took the hint and left the two new parents (not really... if you count in Yomaru) alone for some peace. Yoh moved closer to Anna a smile etching itself on his face, a warmth filling his mind and soul. This was not the first time he had felt this good about himself.  
"Funga fufu..."  
(Reading the comments on our last fic 'Kaleidoscope', we took one request and have added in a hentai bit. Those under the age of 156 years of age, please close your eyes. Your eyes might melt. Really.-J)  
(Not if I can help it...-Icy)  
Yoh began...   
@@@@@@@  
-paragraph censored-  
@@@@@@@  
(WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!-J)  
(We can write one later. This one is not supposed to contain such material.-Icy)  
(What do you mean by that! They WEREN'T wearing any material.-J)  
(... Your stupidity never seems to amaze me...-Icy)  
At this point in time, who chose to step in but...  
"Tamao!" Yoh yelped, caught off guard with himself not fully dressed. He was missing a certain piece of clothing...  
"Your sock is on the light, Yoh." Anna stated, gesturing to the ceiling light above. With a sheepish grin, Yoh retrieved the sock and turned his attention back to Tamao.  
"What did Faust say, Tamao?" he asked, concerned by the odd look on her face that said that not everything was alright. "Are you okay?"  
Tamao nodded, a tear stinging her eye. It was hard to say this, especially to Yoh and Anna. She didn't have much of a choice anyhow and this only served to make her feel worse than she already did. If only this conversation did not have to take place. But it did. The truth had to come into the light. Leaving things in the dark only meant hiding away a part of your soul and that part would probably never come back.  
She should probably just get on with it.  
"Yoh-sama... Anna-sama... I'm... Dying..."  
  
~TBC~  
  
Yep. This is all. please refer to the begining paragraph to see what we have to say. 


	6. Departure

Starless  
by Icy and J  
  
Author's note: This is the direct result of studying maths for 2 hours straight, then immediatly an hour of chinese and right after that 3 more hours of geography. I'm starting to have more white hairs than my mom...-Icy  
Haha... Sucker.-J  
  
Chapter 6: Departure  
  
"Yoh-sama... Anna-sama... I'm... Dying."  
The silence penetrated the room, only to be broken by the sound of Yoh's jaw dropping solidly to the floor.  
"What do you mean you're dying?!" he demanded, jumping to his feet.  
Tamao looked at her feet, unwilling to meet the stunned gazes of the two other shaman. She had known them for so long... It was hard to know that this was the end.  
"Faust said that I had some complications due to some medication I was taking for my giddiness." she explained, keeping the tears from her eyes. The words were there. They just refused to come out of her numb lips. At this moment, who came in but the great Faust...  
"It's Faust the VIII!!!!! Not JUST Faust!!!!" he hollered to he authors who merely shrugged. He was a minor character anyway.  
"Well, Miss." he smiled, the mosiac still on his eyes. His smile was not very nice either. A kind of eil smirk. I guess that was the best he could manage for something reassuring. "We've prepared a room for you... Please come with me. And the two of you might want to come along as well... Yoh-san, please help the itako. She might trip over her own feet with that gown on. Right then, this way please..."  
Faust was uncharacteristically happy and bouncy all the way to the room. In fact, he skipped all the way, whistling the tune of 'Mary had a little lamb'. The room was kinda drabby. It had a big black skull sloppily painted on the door.  
Tamao was lead to the bed and connected to various bleeping stuff.  
"This is the drip where we kinda drip important liquids into her. This is the 'bleeper' which measures heart rates and... Oh my... Why is this SO slow..." Faust leaned over to examine the drip bag which was dripping at a very slow pace. The doctor shook his head reproachfully.  
"This is too slow..." he muttered and gave the bag a great big squeeze, sending all the liquid into Tamao's arm, making it swell up like a rhino's butt. "Oops..."  
"Bleep." went the machine.  
"Doctor? These are the test results..." Hao reported, popping in with a large fat folder. He gave Tamao a big smirk, Yoh a high five, and Anna a good slap in the behind, for which he had a handprint in the face.  
"Bleep."  
Faust glanced through the papers until... "Okay. It seems you have about... 10 minutes left to live. Please say your last words."  
"WHAT?????!!!!!!!" Tamao yelled, a vein popping on her head.  
"Bleep."  
"Now now Tamao..." Yoh assured her. "It's okay... We're here for you..." he added, grasping her hand tightly in his own. A vein popped out on Anna's head.  
"Bleep."  
Tamao turned to Yoh. She had put this off for far too long. And now, she could never have to chance to again. The time was right. The time was now.  
She leant over and kissed Yoh on the lips.  
"Bleep."  
Anna's face exploded. "Calm down, Kyouyama..." she told herself. "This is her last wish. Let her have it. Besides, no use trying to kill her, she'll be dead before you begin."  
"Thank you, Yoh-sama..." she whispered, leaning back onto the pillows. "I think I'll take a rest now, since I'm so... Very... Sleepy..."  
"Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeppppppppppppppp.........."  
The heartrate machine stopped, sending the beeps into a long drawn tone. It kinda signified the end. A sense of finality in it all that stood for the end, the fulstop, the stoppage of a life, a friendship, an unrequited love...  
(That was sooo unnessecary...-J)  
(Hey, what can I say, I'm bored.-Icy)  
"Aw man!" Faust complained, giving the machine a couple of violent bangs. "These machines... All made in China..."  
"Bleep."  
Faust gave the two stunned shaman a weak grin. "Looks like she's still alive after all..." he shrugged, poking at Tamao with a long boney finger.  
"Bleep."  
Suddenly...  
(What's with all the 'suddenly's...-Icy)  
(It's supposed to be surpirsing.-J)  
(Oh my. I'm shocked.-Icy)  
Hao barged into the room, hair swishing like something out of a shampoo ad. He was waving around a rather skinny bright pink file that was so bright, it seemed to give off its own light.  
"Doctor! I believe this is the folder we're looking for..." the powerful shaman smiled, showing all his pearly whites like something out of a toothpaste ad. He was a walking ad. Really.  
Anyways, he passed this to Faust who flipped on a pair of sunglasses before opening the file. "Hmm..."  
"Well, while we're waiting..." Hao said, flipping on the tv in the corner. "Let's watch some pure, unadulterated, sensual programs meant for REAL men like us, ey bro?" the shaman continued, nudging Yoh in the ribs. He flipped on the tv to...  
"WWF?!" Anna's jaw fell to the floor.  
"Hey, WWF rules! It's a combination of action, drama and plenty of bullshit..." Hao protested. Amidamaru quickly covered Yomaru's ears to stop the kid from getting foul words in his head.  
Faust interupted their about-to-happen argument with a polite hack and a sneeze and a burp. "Excuse me, gentlemen and lady, I have come to the conclusion that... This young lady is not in any dire situation and may be released from hospital now."  
"WHAT?!" Tamao yelled, sitting up rather quickly on the bed. After all the trauma she had gone through... Well, it wasn't a complete loss. She got to have Yoh for that one second...  
Suddenly...  
(There you go with that 'suddenly' again! You need psychiatric help man...-Icy)  
(I'm very proud of my vocabulary, thank you!-J)  
... Ren barged into the room, gasping for breath.  
"There is a situation in the hospital. We have to leave now."  
  
~TBC~  
(Though we highly doubt it.) 


	7. P.I.T.B

Starless  
by Icy and J  
  
We have finally decided that this story has abosolutely NO PLOT. We would like to thank the kind reviewer who told us so. However, we are still going to write any mish-mash that comes to our minds. And of course, we're going to let our new original characters have a little part to play in all of this...  
BTW, we would really like to see more reviews. So please please please review...  
  
Chapter 7: P.I.T.B.  
  
"We've got a code red situation." Ren explained as the gathered shamen followed him down the cooridoor towards the lifts. "Tokyo hospital has gone P.I.T.B. full alert."  
Yoh raised an eyebrow, trying to stop the squirming Yomaru in his arms from pulling out his father's hair. "What's P.I.T-OWWWWW!!!!!"  
The tiny toddler laughed, waving a bunch of brown hair pulled from Yoh's head. Anna gave him a smile and took Yomaru from her husband. Yomaru, having safely snuggled into the itako's arms, fell right asleep again.  
"Why can't he ever behave with me?!" Yoh complained, rubbing his sore head. Ren rolled his eyes, jabbing at the lift buttons, bringing the elevator to the lobby floor.  
"Asakura will brief us all on the situation and plan of action."  
The doors slid open with a mechanical whir to see the entire lobby transformed into something out of a war movie. There was camouflage coloured nets and leafy stuff all over, turning the scene into one resembling a tropical jungle. Complete with the large red and orange birds and pink fruit bats.  
"Welcome to Alpha base." Hao greeted them, a smile spreading across his face. He was surrounded by large people wearing army green camouflage uniforms, each holding a large tube of... toothpaste?! In a flash of green stuff, the men of the assembled shaman group were fitted into army suits as well.  
"How come YOU and the GIRLS don't need to wear this?!" Horohoro yelled, plucking at the army pants and stamping his army boots angrily.  
Hao rolled his eyes. "Of course they don't! Besides, they're bait."  
Yoh's eyes widened to the size of saucers. "You're using MY WIFE as bait?! What are you catching? A flu?!"  
Faust laughed, sending chills down everyone's spines. He may have sung really well but his laughter... Eerieeeeeeeeeee...  
"There is a P.I.T.B. 'Pervert in the building'. Going around doing..." Faust shuddered. "... improper things to ladies in here."  
Everyone sweatdropped. This didn't sound too good...  
  
*10 minutes later...*  
"This is boring..." Anna complained, tapping her foot impatiently on the floor. "I don't think they're EVER going to catch that hentai..."  
Tamao nodded. They had been waiting at the same spot for quite long and there was absolutely NO sign of the culprit. Perhaps it was because the girls were rather obviously surrounded by Hao's poorly hidden men. There was a man the size of a bull trying to squeeze behind a skinny looking trash can. Hopeless.  
"I'm going to get a drink." Anna announced, stalking off towards the general direction of the drinks machines. "If we continue waiting here, we won't get anything done."  
Tamao sighed. Anna was never really known to be a patient person. Especially when it came to waiting for anything other than Yoh. For Yoh, it was painfully subtle that she would follow him to the ends of the earth if nessecary...  
"AAAAAAAARRRRRGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
Everyone jumped as the itako came back in a rage, the can drink crushed in the palm of her hand. "WHAT AN A**H*LE!!!"  
Hao blinked. "What happened? You'll scare away the perv-" He was rather cut short with a hard slap to the face.  
"That bast*rd pinched my b*tt!!" she screamed in his face. She snatched the walkie talkie from the cowering Hao's hand, barking new orders into it. "I want all of you to find that hentai and kill him! Destroy! Eradicate! Make sure he never stands again! Use a steamroller! Just find him!!!!!!!!!"  
"He must be a very brave fellow that guy to try that on Anna..." Hao commented, rubbing his cheek.  
Suddenly...  
(OI! stop it with the 'suddenly's!-Icy)  
(I think the readers like it. So there.-J)  
(*rolls eyes and mutters something about low iq*-Icy)  
... Kino runs (she can run?!) into the scene, waving her walking stick and screaming like a strangulated chicken. "I've been attacked by the pervert!!!! Outrage of modesty!!!! Pure evil I say!!!"  
Hao sniggered. "That guy is not only getting braver, he's also going blind..."  
"I HEARD THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kino screamed again, bonking Hao on the head with her walking stick several times.  
Suddenly, Jeanne the Holy Maiden slapped Lyserg for the fun of it.  
"Where did you two come from?!" Ren shrieked in horror, hiding behind the irritated Horohoro.  
Jeanne shrugged, continuing to slap the poor boy. "They sent for me." she stated, pointing a finger up towards the ceiling. Suddenly (there you go again...) two silvery forms floated down from the sky, filling the room with bright light.  
"Who are you?!" Ren shrieked again. One of the silvery forms cringed at the overly sharp sound.  
"We're angels of Light..." said one, a heavenly glow emmenating from its wings.  
"... And death." said the other, rubbing its ear painfully.  
"And we're here to take one of you with us."  
Yoh blinked. "Where? Disneyland? I've always wanted to go-"  
The angel of death hit Yoh soundly on the head. "To the other world of course, numbskull!"  
"Yes, my associate is correct. We're here to summon..."  
  
~TBC~  
  
Haha... someone's going to die... Please R&R. Its important. 


	8. The summon

Starless  
by Icy and J  
  
A/N: This was inspired by an article in the Teenage magazine September issue year 2002. So there. Plenty of flashbacks here among other stuff. Okay, based on the criticism we have got from all the reviews... Here are a few notes.  
1. The twins will come into the big picture soon... Promise.  
2. We're working on a plot... Really!  
3. Tamao won't die. Not very soon anyways. We still have some... Need for her around... Heheheh...  
4. Faust is a minor character in this fic. He only appears in a few chapters.  
5. Constructive suggestions help. Alot. So R&R.  
  
Chapter 8: The summon  
  
The angel of Death unravelled a long, slimey looking greenish scroll, scanning the list before coming to the name he was looking for. The one he was to summon that day. The one to follow them. In other words, the one to die.  
(Well, *that* was straighforward...-Icy)  
(Wait till you see what's up my sleeves!-J)  
(Erm... Maybe not.-Icy)  
"Who among you is..." the shimmering angel stared at the terrible handwriting, unable to make out the words. "...Iceberg?"  
The angel of light gave his partner a good smack on the head. "It's an 'L' stupid!"  
"Liceberg?"  
"Ugh!" the angel of light groaned, snatching the paper roughly away, and barking out the name like a prison warden. "Lyserg!"  
The X-Law trembled at the sound of his name. This was the end of the road. It wasn't expected at all, not even by the authors... He could already see his life flash past him...  
  
*2 years ago*  
At the cafe where couples wipe frappucino off the sides of their supposed partner's mouths, Lyerg pursed his lips into a pout. It has happened again. The 13th time this year! So 13 is an unlucky number? But he wouldn't count all those previous times of being rejected and dejected as being very lucky either. Previous times? I could go on and on listing the females he had somehow asked out, the list ranging from girls like Tamao to Marion.  
This time, the unlucky gal was none other than...  
"Maiden-sama..." Lyserg began, eyes turning into watery hearts. "Your hair looks fantastic today..."  
Jeanne took a quick glance at her hair, which in her opinion, was a forest of tangles that day. A typical Holy Maiden bad hair day. It was becoming a tad too obvious that he was fishing for compliments and nobody was biting.  
She had to clear the air. Now.  
"Lyserg, listen. I can't get emotionally attached. I can't take the chance that I'd do anything to hurt you."  
The boy blinked, a sad look blanketing his face. "So you choose to hurt my heart instead?"  
"NO! I don't want to do anything that could jeopardize our friendship..."  
"Oh, BUT you just did!" he retorted, spite tinting his voice slightly.  
"We can't... Because I care about you too much." she tried again, reaching about her extensive mind for more reasons not to date the x-law.  
"Then maybe you can care about me a bit less?"  
"I'm just not ready for a relationship right now."  
"Funny! That's what my 65-year old spinster aunt says!"  
"I didn't know you had a 65-year old... Anyways, I don't look at you in that way..."  
"Maybe you're looking in all the wrong ways."  
Geting slightly desperate, she had to resort to the incredibly wierd. "I've- I've met a guy!"  
"Yeah?" Lyserg rolled his eyes. "And you think I'm really a gal?"  
"Lyserg, you don't know what your getting yourself into... You're too good a person for me to go out with." she said, hissing slightly through her teeth.  
"What?" Lyserg asked, looking shocked. "You normally date animals?"  
"I just want to be friends!!!!" she shrieked and then slapped Lyserg right across the face, sending him sprawling across the room. With a tear in her eye, she ran out of the cafe, leaving the bill for him to pay.  
Okay, so he asked for it for letting things get this ugly. And now that she had slapped his face into a slanted contorted pink mess that looked like the half-baked, half-eaten apple pie before him, he did look ugly. Not that he was NOT ugly to being with, in his opinion. But if his already ugly face could get uglier, this was the moment.  
If this was a sitcom, you'd here people going, "Aww..." But it wasn't, so everyone went "oohs" and "ahhs" in the way that star-struck lovers always manage to do. Mind you, Lyserg had conviniently and cleverly chosen a lover's cafe. We authors won't even bother asking him why he had the brains, or lack of that, to choose such a location to bare his heart and soul.  
Jeanne's words echoed, most incongruous with those sweet nothings os the other diners, one being Horo horo and Tamao... (WHAT THE??!!!!) Sometimes, he almost felt like he was the only single, desperate and ugly diner in a swanky restaurant filled with lovers... and the worse thing was, HE WAS!!!! Damned! She had left.  
"I just want to be friends!"  
When he heard that, it was like reading aloud one of those lucky dip coupons which screams, "Congratulations! You've won yourself a new lifelong friend!" It's not unlike those actor-louts who try to sell you travel vouchers at marked up prices along the streets. All this while, they will still claim, with tears brimming in their dreamy eyes, that you have won the top prize for a trip around the world. Okay, minus the joy. Because... really, there aren't any prizes to be claimed i this case.  
The gist is, guy meets girl and falls in love with her. And the girl will play her trump card -"Platonic!" Sometimes, Lyserg wished that people would stick to those little cards like "opportunity" and "chance" in the Monopoly game. But in real life, he only got 'platonic'. Pure platonic. He got that with Tamao, Marion, Menee, and now even Jeanne!  
Platonic- sounds like some tonic; some poison served on a plate.  
CRACK!  
Heard that? The plate just cracked. Along with his heart.  
*end of flashback*  
(Aw... that was so sweet...-Icy)  
(Thank you.-J)  
(You didn't write that entire piece man...-Icy)  
(I know that.-J)  
  
"NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!" Lyserg wailed falling to his knees in dispair. "I can't die yet! I haven't got a decent date in my entire life!"  
The angel of death glared at him, taking out a large black garbage bag from a hidden pocket in the folds of his robes. "That's the lamest excuse I've ever heard in my entire afterlife! Now hurry up and get into the bag! Its by the orders of the authors-"  
Lyserg immediately stoppped wailing and stared up at the angels. "What?"  
The angel of light laughed weakly. "Nothing nothing!"  
Horohoro laughed loudly and with a loud click, flipped a switch on the wall. The 'heavenly light' surrounding the two went out.  
"Light bulbs!" the ice shaman laughed. "And ropes!"  
The 'angels' gave the shamen a meek grin, dangling rather helplessly like human pinata...  
"Oh shit..."  
  
*Meanwhile*  
"Funga fufu..."  
"Yo-chan! Stop that!" Amidamaru yelled while trying to yank the two rampid twins out from the drawers they had shoved themselves into. Even if they were only a couple of hours old, due to the incredible nature of this fic, they can run. Yep. Somehow.  
"Aw man! If your mother finds out that you've been running around..." Amidamaru shuddered at the thought of the itako. "If she finds out what you've been doing, Yo-chan. I'm afraid there won't be a 'me' left..."  
"Funga fufu..."  
  
~TBC~  
  
That's it. more to come soon. Not very soon. but soon. please R&R. 


	9. Homeward bound (LAST CHAPTER!!!!!!!)

Starless  
by Icy and J  
  
A/N: This will be the last chapter cause we're dry of ideas and now embarking on a new fic. A much more serious one I'm afraid. Plus, J requests that we write a lemon... We'll see bout that...  
This will be the end of a long story and an equally long sequel. We'd like to thank all reviewers (Especially Jenn! *Muacks!*-J) for their kind support. Please review... Because this last chapter is for you. This is really what reviewers wanted but we never wrote them... All except the hentai bits of course. And to all you friends who know us personally, thanks you for your... erm... kind... comments...  
  
Chapter 9: Homeward bound  
  
After almost an hour of non-stop ultra loud yelling and ranting, Anna had decided that her son had enough scolding for the day.  
"Like father like son... Both hentai to the bone..." she muttered, shifting her blonde haired son in her arms in a position so he didn't drool too much on her. Yoh gave her a sheepish shrug, sliding into the back of the taxi next to her. Carefully, he extracted Yomaru from his tortured head of hair and left him to Amidamaru's care, turning his attention to Yohko who had taken to chewing on his shirt.  
They really had come a long way. Through countless battles fought and won, some physical, others purely emotional. Through a mountain of baby diapers, toys that are disasters waiting to be tripped over. Through a mad pair of fanfic authors and a sequel.  
Yep. They had been through hell and back again...  
"What did your brother give us?" Anna suddenly asked. Yoh glanced at the mountain of baby shower gifts before them before his eyes settled on a nice crate of...  
"Kitty kibbles." Yoh said, making a face. "Fluff ball flavoured..."  
"Eww... Horohoro?"  
"Ooo... This one is cool..." Yoh commented, taking a large bag out of the pile. "Mini snow boards!"  
Anna glanced at the two minature snowboards Horohoro had made himself and painted in scrawly preschool handwriting standard kanji 'Horohoro rawks!!!!!!' on each side in neon pink. While it was already horrendously glaring, another neon pink thing was sticking out of the stack...  
"Ren gave us a... A... Actually, what is this?!"  
The itako took one look at it and almost laughed. The gifts were two small neon pink suits more commonly seen on drag queens. There was even a larger one with Yoh's name sewn on it... In frills.  
(In response to a question a friend asked... Ren is gay because we couldn't find a better use for him... Haha... No, really. We couldn't pair him up with someone else. It would be too cruel...-Icy)  
(It wasn't my idea...-J)  
(Oh REALLY??!!-Icy)  
Either ways, moving on...  
"Faust wanted to give us a present..." Yoh began while sifting through the rather large bump of grassy earth that could count as a hill sized pile of junk. "But after he tried to give us the bone of his leg..."  
(There you go again! I thought we were over and done with that large bump stuff!!!!!!-J)  
(Stop whining, and move over. Your butt and ego are taking up too much space on this chair...-Icy)  
(Oh yeah?! Then we'll halve this chair! *takes out a saw* This side is mine!!!!-J)  
THUNK.  
"Did you hear that?" Amidamaru asked, putting a ghostly hand to his... erm... ghostly ear. "Sounded like some elephant falling down..."  
(WHAT ELEPHANT?!!!!!!!!-Icy)  
He couldn't say much more as a huge roll of ghostly duct tape had appeared out of nowhere and taped his mouth firmly shut. No one else saud anything about the large half of a chair that had somehow fallen down on the roof of the car.  
Suddenly...  
(Stop it lah... Your limited vocabulary is embarrassing me...-Icy)  
(Oh yeah?! I'm proud of my... big vocabulary! I'll show you 'limited vocabulary'...-J)  
Suddenly, Ren popped out of nowhere and his face slammed against the window, making him look really... stupid. I have no other word for that.  
(I rest my case.-Icy)  
(Hey, My english is nice and simple! Did you look at what you wrote for Literature today?! I can't understand half the stuff you write! No, make that ALL the stuff!!!! It's like something a yoga übermenschen would say to confuse his students!-J)  
(You... You... YOU LOOKED THROUGH MY BAG????!!!!!!!-Icy)  
(Erm... *laughs nervously*... Not exactly...Hahaha... Erm... You went for that toilet break and all...-J)  
*We are know experiencing techincal difficulties... Please standby...*  
Anyways...  
Just as suddenly as Ren appeared, he was pried of the window by a lampost, removing his face from the car window.  
Anna blinked. "What was that?"  
"Hmm? This?" Yoh asked, picking up a rather decent looking blue box. "Looks like something from my dad..."  
Just as Yoh was about to open the box, it exploded in his hands!!!!! No, just kidding. The box fell apart as a chubby chibi mess of fur, saliva and tails pounced onto Yoh's face.  
"UUUMMMPPPHHH!!!!!!!" Yoh yelled, rather muffled by the...  
"Your dad gave us a mutt??!" Anna said rather slowly and calmly... in her standards of calm anyway. "We already have three salivating, non-house broken beings on our hands. We can't afford another!"  
The chibi chubby/chubby chibi grey and white puppy blinked at Anna with large watery eyes and a look on its face that would make the Rock melt in his spandex wrestling outfit.  
"Aww... Come on, Anna..." Yoh whined, taking on a face similar to the puppy's. "Can't we keep him???"  
Anna looked at her husband. Then at the dog. Then at her husband. Then at the dog. Then at her husband. Then at-  
(CUT IT OUT!!!!!-Icy)  
-the dog. Then at Yomaru who was, for some strange unknown reason, driving the car.  
"Fine fine fine..." She said reluctantly with a sigh. "But make sure he doesn't..."  
"I will call you... PEE-CHAN!!!!" Yoh declared, lifting the pee-chan up like Simba in The Lion King. Suddenly...  
Whizzzzzz.......  
"Erm... Anna...?"  
"What?"  
"Pee-chan... I think he just lived up to his name..."  
"AAAAAAARGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YYYYOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
~Owari~  
  
Well, that's all folks. Seems we keep ending our fics with piss...-Icy  
I know...Anyways, please R&R. Perhaps we will write another epilougue. Just something to fill time before our next big BIG story...-J  
I didn't know we were going to write a another fic...-Icy  
Now we are... Heheheh... *rubs hands together evilly and runs off laughing evilly into the sunset*-J)  
(Oh wait! Come back here! We forgot to kill Tamao!-Icy)  
(Oh ya...-J)  
  
~The P.S~  
  
Chapter 9 and 3 quarters: The killing of Tamao   
  
A/N: This will be short. But will do. We will do it... Pick em style...  
  
"What a hot day it is..." Tamao yawned, relaxing back onto the warm surface of the road. For some strange reason, she was lying in the middle of the road...   
a) sunbathing.  
b) eating melting ice cream but getting most it it down her nose.  
c) waiting to be killed.  
d) painting her fingernails... and her whole hand since she had so much nail polish.  
e) scratching all over like a monkey.  
f) thinking of Yoh and that moment in chapter 6... Hahaha...  
  
Anyways, she was minding her own business when something caught her eye. It was...  
a) a rare hawaiian bird... Complete with all the toppings and pineapples and cheese.  
b) snow! In summer! Nuclear winter!  
c) Ren cat walking up and down the side of the road in his pink frilly drag queen outfit, trying to hitch a ride.  
d) Horo horo, being one with nature by grazing with cows.  
e) a strange woman named edith running around in a frilly petticoat and kid boots.  
f) a chicken crossing the road to get to the other side.  
  
Of course, she was too absorbed in watching this new distraction to even notice the reckless car, driven by a three year old, coming along her way...  
Well. In short, she didn't die there. She hopped out of the way just in the nick of time, only to run straight off the road... and off a cliff. So. She died. So there.  
From then on, Anna and Yoh had...  
a) a peaceful home life, with their beautiful children. Yohko looked like Yoh, Yohkai looked like Anna and Yomaru... Well, you can't expect too much out of a test tube... Their love grew and blossomed over the years, and they grew old together and watched the changing times pass by. The only thing that never changed was the way they loved each other. Hao and Jeanne (Where did THIS come from?!-Icy) (Don't look at me...-J) also got married, and she had 8 children, since she felt it was nice to have the same number of children as she did X-Laws. She had to give up all her super powers, the pin bed she slept on and sell Shamash to a travelling side show. But, she was happy to become a domestic woman while Hao managed to feed the family somehow...although no one ever really figured out where he got all that money.  
  
b) six children in five years. Anna gained a hefty 30 kg that she never lost, and Yoh took up a job cleaning bowling balls. Three of the children got the good DNA...but the other three... Nevermind. On the other hand, Hao and Jeanne (HUH???!!!) lived a wonderful life, and never got married. Instead, they lived together in sin, but had a damn good time nonetheless. Ren ran off to Thailand to escape his fathers wrath and assumed the new name 'Bobo', living in a cabaret show. Horohoro... well, he and the other characters... Shucks! Who cares?  
  
c) some good times and more bad times, but Yoh's mental condition was deteriorating, unknown and hidden to everyone else. One evening, while there was a full moon, Yoh's eyes began to glow strangely and he slaughtered Anna, Hao, Jeanne, Horo horo, and all the other characters. He then wandered off to gain positive karma and never was heard from again. It is said that he became possessed by an all powerful being... THE PARA PARA GOD!!!!!!! Ahem.  
  
~Owari~  
~Really~  
~We mean it~  
~Stop reading. There's nothing more.~  
~Please R&R~  
~Stop clicking now...~  
~Stop.~  
~STTTTOOOOOOPPPPPPP IIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!~  
  
Bleep. 


End file.
